84. Tosca is Lost

Tosca is lost:
Tosca is lost!
Tosca is lost at the grocery.
Tosca is lost;
Tosca is confused –
the flyers said the mushrooms were on
sale today;
Tosca does not even like mushrooms,
but Tosca does not like this new diet
either;

Tosca is lost:
Tosca is lost;
all is lost at the
checkout line.
Tosca glares enviously at the row next to
hers;
fatsos with pounds upon
pounds of
FOOD.
Tosca wishes she could still eat that much,
picks up a magazine to distract
herself;
skinny bitch, this is what she’s become
too;
Tosca throws it down;
gastric bypass wasn’t such a good
idea…

Tosca is lost,
Tosca is lonely.
Tosca is not liking the piles of music left unread on the couch.
Tosca takes her up her
Scarpia (little yipper) in her
weary arms;
groceries will wait…
Tosca is lost,
but Tosca listens to her
doctor.

Tosca is lost,
Tosca is out of breath:
Tosca has gotten herself lost in -
Central Park; Tosca is not used to this -
exercise thing -
Tosca sits on a bench,
jealously watching the runners jog
by.
Goddamn, your glistening bodies are
perfect, stop flaunting them at
me!
Tosca does not -
understand -
why people continue -
to masochistically -
put themselves through Hell when -
they already look like the -
Greek pantheon,
maybe
better –

Tosca is lost…
Tosca is lost…
Tosca dreams she is a
skinny model, impossible size
-2,
walking down the catwalks in
Milano,
but the audience is not applauding.
They want her to sing, but
Tosca –
Tosca can’t –
she can’t sing a
Goddamn
note!

BEEPBEEPBEEP!
Tosca is late!

Tosca is found,
Tosca is found in the dressing room.
Tosca to stage in 5.
Tosca slips her black wig
over her itchy hairnet,
tiara in place, red gown wrinkle
free, clip-on diamond
earrings on each
lobe;
scales run themselves automatically
in her insured throat.
“Vissi d’arte, vissi d’arte…”
she finds herself chanting,
adding “Fuck Scarpia” in between
iterations, for good measure.
Tosca to stage, Tosca to stage.

Tosca is found, Tosca is finally
found, running dramatically,
breathlessly onto stage:
Tosca sings, Tosca
Goddamn sings the
bleeding chunks
away.

Deborah Voigt's transformation.
Left: Aida, 2011 (before).
Right: Salome, 2006 (after).